The idiots are here and all they've brought is candy
The idiots are here and all they need is love, love, love
The idiots are here and no one can tell just what can be wrong
But no one goes around like that no more
The idiots have told us that our dress is fancy, and we can see that they are all as plain as day
The idiots have told us that they could enjoy a dancing pig, but no one talks like that here any more

"We are the idiots so do not fear
We've almost no intention of settling here
With buckets of candy and teeth in a jar, we were hoping to catch you at home
We are the idiots and we don't care if you are addicted to these and these figures of speech that hold you upright in your chair
We know nothing of this, we're here to fetch the dancing pig."

The idiots are gone and we give a toothless answer
When questioned on the rate of growth and who's in charge
The idiots are gone and everyone here has cancer now, and no one locks their doors here anymore

New things in old packages, old things in new
A parcel returned at the source, "IT'S FOR YOU."
Old things in new packages, new things in old
A gift from an idiot thief can't be sold