Attitude is everything — Part 2 (Watch your words!)
“Attitude is everything” is a small and interesting book by Jeff Keller. The language used is simple and easy to understand. The strategies are effective.
The book is divided into 3 parts by the author himself.
- Part 1: Success Begins in the Mind — Focuses on the way of THINKING
- Part 2: Watch Your Words — Focuses on what we SPEAK
- Part 3: Heaven Helps Those Who Act — Focuses on taking ACTIONS.
Let’s look at some of the key points of part 2 where the author is describing the power of words that we speak.
1. Words encourage action.
What we speak reinforces our belief and our belief creates our reality. Think of this process as a row of dominos that look like this:
In my initial years of college, I used to think that I am not a social person. Every so often, I also kept talking about how I’m not very social or how I don’t like public gatherings and all. Now, looking back, it seems that I might have started saying that before I actually believed it, i.e, I was not actually introvert. But, because I kept saying that I am not a social person, it eventually became my belief. Slowly, I started avoiding celebrations, birthday parties, even hanging out in a group.
Now, because I was spending more and more time in my room binge-watching anime, my thoughts and belief of not being a social person became stronger, and the vicious chain continued. (similar to the feedback loop from hell!)
Next time you are talking about something negative that is related to your goal, remember, you are not helping yourself. Actually, you are hurting your chances of actually achieving success.
2. With whom to talk positively?
These positive words can be talked out loud or told to yourself internally. There are no hard-and-fast rules about that part. But, beware, do not discuss your goals with negative people. They will only argue and point out the reasons why you can not succeed. Instead, have these talks with someone whose feedback includes solutions to the difficulties that may arise.
Moreover, make sure that the person giving you advice actually has expertise in that domain. You do not want a discussion about opening a business with someone who has only worked for others their entire life.
3. “How are you?”
“How are you?” or “How do you do?” are the questions that we get asked a lot of times in our day-to-day lives. Most of the time, we reply with: “fine”, “Okay I guess”, “Bored”, “Fu*ked”, “Terrible” and the very common one… “Don’t even ask.”; makes the other person regret ever asking. These replies have twofold effects:
- One, by speaking negative, or barely neutral terms, you are programming your mind to think in that direction which ultimately affects your attitude negatively.
- Two, you are pushing people away. Think about it, would you like to hang out with someone who never has a good day? Chances are, you will also become a part of his bad day, making your day worse, too. Would you like to do business with someone who always sounds like he/she has not slept in 3 days?
So, instead, whenever asked this question, speak positive response with energy. “Terrific”, “Awesome”, “Livin’ the dream”, etc. I’m sure, even reading these will leave a positive sensation inside you. As you speak these words, your physiology begins to correspond with your optimistic language. Your posture is more upright, other people are attracted to your vitality and energy (after a few initial days of giving strange looks). Your business and personal relationships improve.
Will your life’s problems magically disappear? NO, but you set in motion a very important principle: “We get what we expect in life.”
4. No complaining
Complaints work against you in three ways.
- First, no one wants to hear negative words about your illness and your problems.
- Second, complaining reinforces your own pain and discomfort. So why keep replaying the painful, negative memories?
- Third, complaining, by itself achieves nothing and diverts you from the constructive actions you could be taking to improve your situation.
That’s it for part two. In the next part, we will focus on taking action.
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