R U OK Day today encouraging all of us to check in with others to see if they’re OK.
But what if someone says “no”? What should you say or do? Should you tell someone else?
What resources can you point to, and what help is available?
Read NACCHO Aboriginal Health articles over the past 6 Years
Stop and listen, with curiosity and compassion
We underestimate the power of simply listening to someone else when they’re going through a rough time. You don’t need to be an expert with ten years of study in psychology to be a good listener. Here are some tips:
Listen actively. Pay attention, be present and allow the person time to speak.
Be curious. Ask about the person’s experience using open questions such as
what’s been going on lately?
you don’t seem your usual self, how are you doing/feeling?
Validate their concerns. See the situation from the person’s perspective and try not to dismiss their problems or feelings as unimportant or stupid. You can say things like
I can see you’re going through a tough time
it’s understandable to feel that way given everything you’ve been going through.
There are more examples of good phrases to use here.
Don’t try to fix the problem right now
Often our first instinct is wanting to fix the person’s problems. It hurts to see others in pain, and we can feel awkward or helpless not knowing how to help. But you don’t have to have all of the answers.
Instead of jumping into “fix it” mode right away, accept the conversation may be uncomfortable and allow the person to speak about their difficulties and experiences.
Sometimes it’s not the actual suggestion or practical help that’s most useful but giving the person a chance to talk openly about their struggles. Also, the more we understand the person’s experience, the more likely we are to be able to offer the right type of help.
Encourage them to seek help.
Ask:
how can I help?
is there something I can do for you right now?
Sometimes it’s about keeping them company (making plans to do a pleasant activity together), providing practical support (help minding their kids to give them time out), or linking them in with other health professionals.
Check whether they need urgent help
It’s possible this person is suffering more than you realise: they may be contemplating suicide or self-harm. Asking about suicidal thoughts does not worsen those thoughts, but instead can help ease distress.
It’s OK to ask them if they’re thinking about suicide, but try not to be judgemental (“you’re not thinking of doing anything stupid, are you?”). Listen to their responses without judgement, and let them know you care and you’d like to help.
Read more: How to ask someone you’re worried about if they’re thinking of suicide
There are resources and programs to help you learn how to support suicidal loved ones, and crisis support lines to call:
- Contact the Social and Emotional team at your nearest ACCHO
- Lifeline (24-hour crisis telephone counselling) 13 11 14
- Suicide Callback Service 1300 659 467
- Mental health crisis lines
If it is an emergency, or the person is at immediate risk of harm to themselves or others, call 000.
Encourage them to seek professional help
We’re fortunate to be living in Australia, with access to high quality mental health care, resources and support services. But it can be overwhelming to know what and where to seek help. You can help by pointing the person in the right direction.
The first place to seek help is the general practitioner (GP). The GP can discuss treatment options (psychological support and/or medication), provide referrals to a mental health professional or arrange access to local support groups. You can help by encouraging your friend to make an appointment with their GP.
There are great evidence-based online courses and self-help programs, educational resources and free self-help workbooks that can be accessed at any time.
There are also online tools to check emotional health. These tools help indicate if a person’s stress, anxiety and depression levels are healthy or elevated.
What if they don’t want help?
People with mental health difficulties sometimes take years between first noticing the problem and seeking professional help. Research shows approximately one in three people experiencing mental health problems accesses treatment.
So even if they don’t want help now, your conversation may have started them thinking about getting help. You can try understanding what’s stopping them from seeking help and see if there’s anything you can do to help connect them to a professional. You don’t need to push this, but simply inviting the person to keep the options in mind and offering your ongoing support can be useful in the long run.
Follow up. If appropriate, organise a time to check in with the person again to see how they’re doing after your conversation. You can also let the person know you’re around and they are always welcome to have a chat with you. Knowing someone is there for you can itself be a great source of emotional support.
Read more: Five types of food to increase your psychological well-being
The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences bursary
Orygen, The National Centre of Excellence is seeking expressions of interest (EOI) from all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people who would like to share their expertise, advice, and ideas and contribute to the development of a suicide prevention social media campaign!
About the #chatsafe campaign
We would like to partner with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people to co-design a suicide prevention social media campaign specifically for the Aboriginal community. The campaign will focus on educating and empowering young people to support themselves and other young people within their online social networks. Rather than speaking on behalf of Aboriginal communities, we wish to draw on the expertise, cultural identities, and strengths of the community to inform campaign materials.
The co-design workshop will involve a yarning circle, where young people will be given the opportunity to share their experiences and express their needs. The yarning circle will be facilitated by an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander person. The workshop will also involve working together, in groups, to generate ideas for a social media campaign (e.g., digital storytelling, drawing, etc.).
The workshop will be hosted in Perth, as a part of the The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences. The workshop will be conducted in the morning and breakfast will be provided. Young people will be reimbursed $30.00 per hour for their time.
Opportunity for financial support
Oyrgen would like to sponsor 10 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people to take part in our co-design workshop and The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences, hosted from 20 to 23 November, in Perth, by providing a bursary.
Eligibility
To be eligible for Orygen’s bursary funding, the applicant must be an Aboriginal and Torres Islander young person, aged between 18 and 25 years. We encourage young people from all geographic regions, across Australia, to apply.
Submitting your application
If you would like to be a part of the co-design workshop, please email your application to Jo at
The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences bursary
Orygen, The National Centre of Excellence is seeking expressions of interest (EOI) from all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people who would like to share their expertise, advice, and ideas and contribute to the development of a suicide prevention social media campaign!
About the #chatsafe campaign
We would like to partner with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people to co-design a suicide prevention social media campaign specifically for the Aboriginal community. The campaign will focus on educating and empowering young people to support themselves and other young people within their online social networks. Rather than speaking on behalf of Aboriginal communities, we wish to draw on the expertise, cultural identities, and strengths of the community to inform campaign materials.
The co-design workshop will involve a yarning circle, where young people will be given the opportunity to share their experiences and express their needs. The yarning circle will be facilitated by an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander person. The workshop will also involve working together, in groups, to generate ideas for a social media campaign (e.g., digital storytelling, drawing, etc.). The workshop will be hosted in Perth, as a part of the The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences. The workshop will be conducted in the morning and breakfast will be provided. Young people will be reimbursed $30.00 per hour for their time.
Opportunity for financial support
Oyrgen would like to sponsor 10 Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander young people to take part in our co-design workshop and The 2nd National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Suicide Prevention and World Indigenous Suicide Prevention Conferences, hosted from 20 to 23 November, in Perth, by providing a bursary.
Eligibility
To be eligible for Orygen’s bursary funding, the applicant must be an Aboriginal and Torres Islander young person, aged between 18 and 25 years. We encourage young people from all geographic regions, across Australia, to apply.
Submitting your application
If you would like to be a part of the co-design workshop, please email your application to Jo at jo.robinson@orygen.org.au. Submissions can be made on, or before Sunday, 30 September, 2018.
Selection process
In the first week of October, a panel consisting of Oyrgen staff, a Culture is Life representative, Professor Pat Dudgeon from the conference organising committee, Summer May Finlay (a Yorta Yorta woman), and young people will review all written applications and select 10 successful applicants. The selection panel will endeavour to select a diverse range of young people. The 10 successful applicants will be notified by email by mid-October. The success applicants will have until 31 October, 2018 to accept the bursary offered.
Requirements
The successful recipients of the bursaries are required to attend a half-day co-design workshop. Recipients will also be asked to complete and submit a ‘Wellness Plan’, ‘Bank Details Form’, and ‘Consent Form’ prior to participation in the w
. Submissions can be made on, or before Sunday, 30 September, 2018.
Selection process
In the first week of October, a panel consisting of Oyrgen staff, a Culture is Life representative, Professor Pat Dudgeon from the conference organising committee, Summer May Finlay (a Yorta Yorta woman), and young people will review all written applications and select 10 successful applicants. The selection panel will endeavour to select a diverse range of young people. The 10 successful applicants will be notified by email by mid-October. The success applicants will have until 31 October, 2018 to accept the bursary offered.
Requirements
The successful recipients of the bursaries are required to attend a half-day co-design workshop. Recipients will also be asked to complete and submit a ‘Wellness Plan’, ‘Bank Details Form’, and ‘Consent Form’ prior to participation in the w
Anyone seeking support and information about mental health can contact beyondblue on 1300 22 46 36. For information about suicide and crisis support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the Suicide Callback Service on 1300 659 467
