- Sergeant Garcia in general. He's on the bad guys' side technically but he's one hell of a Big Fun, Plucky Comic Relief and Butt-Monkey all rolled into one.
- In the very first episode, Diego is asked to fill out a form in Monastario's office while the Big Bad himself fools around with a saber, including slicing Diego's quill in half. Then García comes in to report and Monastario hands him the saber, telling him to put it away. The moment both characters' backs are turned, Diego gives Monastario a jab with the business end of the quill. While viewers aren't shown exactly where the jab lands, it isn't difficult to guess.
- Zorro's first appearance is loaded with these (also doubling as moments of Awesome). He begins by surprising Sergeant García, who is unarmed and half-dressed, in his quarters, and pins him against a wall with his own saber. Then he proceeds to lock both Monastario and Licenciado Pina in one of their own jail cells. And then, when García comes back for round two, Zorro simply disarms him and backs him up at swordpoint until he falls into a nearby well. Monastario's facepalming sells it. Later still, García is shown trying to climb out of the well and shout orders at the same time, which ends with him falling right back in.
- In "Zorro's Secret Passage", when a private explains that he can't read after asking García what a poster says, García replies, "Now you know why you are a private and I am a sergeant." Moments later, García himself suggests to Monastario that Zorro being friends with Don Nacho means that someone will turn them both in. Monastario's response? "Now you know why you are a sergeant and I am the Comandante."
- Diego's antics when asked to try on a copy of Zorro's costume have to be seen to be believed. And then, when Monastario tries to test his fencing ability, he first gets tangled up in a tree and then trips over his own feet and nearly knocks over a table. The fact that he's faking to throw the comandante off the scent arguably makes it funnier. Even Monastario finds it amusing.
- Later in the same episode, Monastario's attempt to duel Benito, his prime "Zorro" suspect, is interrupted by the real Zorro. Monastario's expression at this revelation is funny enough, but it gets even funnier when García comes in to investigate the racket. Monastario shouts at him to get the rest of the lancers; García nods and turns to leave — and then pulls a hilariously exaggerated Double Take as he realizes what's going on.García: Hey, for a vaquero, he's not a bad swordsman!
Monastario: Idiot! Get the men, quick! This is the real Zorro!
García: Ah, the real Zorro. [Beat] Zorro!? - Zorro evades the lancers chasing him by jumping Tornado over a canyon. Monastario orders García after him. The sergeant wisely refuses.Monastario: He jumped it, you can!
García: I think I can, but my horse, he cannot. - Diego, having narrowly evaded the lancers and made it back to his room just in time to fend off Monastario's attempts to question him again, jokingly comments on the uneventful day he's had. Then he asks Bernardo what they should do that night. Bernardo's expression says it all.
- The 3rd episode, "Zorro Rides into the Mission", gives this moment when Captain Monastario, the Big Bad on the first story arc, tries to arrest Don Ignacio Torres, who took sanctuary in the Mission of San Gabriel. Padre Felipe points out to Monastario that he is not allowed to arrest Torres so long as he has sanctuary in the church, which leads to this:Monastario: And who would know if I just took him by force? We're a long way from both Madrid and Rome.
Padre Felipe: True, but I'm not far away from that flower pot, with which I can bash you over the head, until my faithful Indians can come to the rescue. - Monastario finds himself verbally outmaneuvered at every turn in this episode — when he tells Diego that in his place, he would mind his own business, Diego cheerfully retorts that if he were in Monastario's place, he wouldn't want to anger both the Pope and the king by breaking sanctuary.
- The entire exchange between Monastario and García at the beginning of the episode, but especially this part:Monastario: What is the matter with your feet?
García: I—I hurt them chasing El Zorro, the Fox, through the rocks.
Monastario: Are you sure, Sergeant, he was not chasing you?
García: How can — how could that be possible? Chasing me... well, maybe a little toward the end.
[Beat]
García: It is very hard to chase a fox through the rocks, Comandante. - When Bernardo uses their carriage's whip to imitate Zorro while driving to the mission, Diego jokingly warns him they they don't want to arrive too soon, lest Padre Felipe put them to work picking oranges. Then a patrol of lancers passes them. Diego immediately seizes the reins and whips the horses into a gallop. Later still, Diego winds up picking oranges after all.
- The Halloween episode of the first season has Diego planting the seeds in García's mind about a ghost that haunts the mission. Henry Calvin's reactions just sell it.
- No-one is better at interpreting Bernardo's sign language than Diego, but even he sometimes has trouble. This often results in hilarious exchanges as Bernardo tries different combinations of signs to try and get his point across.
- One such exchange takes place after Bernardo is knocked out and locked in a storage room because he witnessed a kidnapping:Diego: What were you doing in there?
[Bernardo points to his head]
Diego: You have a headache? Well, I'm sorry you have a headache, but what were you doing in there? - On another occasion, Bernardo overhears Monastario and Licenciado Pina mentioning a plan to destroy Zorro. When he tries to communicate the word "destroy" to Diego, however, he runs into some trouble. Diego guesses that the comandante plans to shoot, hang, and poison Zorro in response to Bernardo's increasingly frustrated signs before hitting on the right word. Viewers with sharp ears will actually hear Bernardo's relieved exhale when Diego finally gets it right.
- One such exchange takes place after Bernardo is knocked out and locked in a storage room because he witnessed a kidnapping:
- In "The Fall of Monastario" García shows he can be a Deadpan Snarker on occasion.Monastario: The viceroy will find us a model pueblo. Quickly. You have very little time.
García: Si. We are about a year too late!note- Another exchange when Monastario was angling for a politically convenient marriage with the Viceroy's beautiful daughter:
Monastario: Now would you say that I'm attractive
García: (shocked look) Wha - No sir!
Monastario: I mean if you were a woman, you idiot!
García: Well if I were a woman and fat like me, I would not be choosy. - Diego is fond of lampshading his activities as Zorro with seemingly innocuous comments slipped into ordinary conversation. While none of the characters around him pick up on the double meaning, Diego can often be seen smiling at his own cleverness. Bonus points if Bernardo is close by and able to react to his antics.
- In "Zorro Fights His Father", this exchange after Zorro successfully frees an innocent prisoner just before he is executed and escapes, thoroughly dismantling the trap the Magistrado and Don Alejandro set for him. Poor García, who has been trying to stall the execution in any way possible and has just had rings run around him by Zorro, bears the brunt of the Magistrado's fury.Magistrado: In the entire Spanish Empire, there is only one thing that is fatter than that belly of yours. You know what that is, Sergeant!?
García: No, Excellency. What?
Magistrado: YOUR HEAD! - Diego's father has injured his leg and is having the wound examined by a doctor. As the doctor begins to probe the site of the injury, Diego hastily excuses himself, claiming "I cannot bear to hear my father scream in pain." Alejandro retorts that he will never hear that happen. Immediately after, he lets out a pained shout. Cue Diego turning around and grinning as if to say, "I told you so."
- "Zorro by Proxy":
- Diego is arrested after being framed as Zorro. Lacking access to his costume, he improvises by "borrowing" Sergeant García's saber and cutting a mask from the blanket provided in his cell. Then he throws what's left of the blanket over his shoulders to stand in for a cloak. This is amusing by itself, but the kicker comes when one of the guards posted on the walls spots him and raises the alarm. To keep any of the soldiers from getting a good look at him, Diego resorts to hiding behind Sergeant García and dragging him around the cuartel like a human shield.Raquel: Stay right with him, Sergeant! Don't let him get away!
García: I am pursuing him, in a way! - Throughout the ensuing fight scene, Diego can be seen stopping to readjust the blanket several times when it almost slips off of his shoulders. He also runs around with one hand holding the edges against his chest, lest the corners flap and expose the everyday clothing he's still wearing underneath. To say this makes Zorro look awkward is an understatement.
- He even lampshades his improvised costume at the end of the episode.Diego: You know, things must be going very badly with him. One thing I do remember: I saw him up close and he was very poorly dressed.
- To avoid trying to explain where he disappeared off to, Diego claimed since he was hit on his head, his memory was a little fuzzy and he can't quite remember what happened, this exchange happens:Reyes: I understand, I was hit on the head once.
García: (concerned and curious) When was that?
Reyes: I don't remember
- Diego is arrested after being framed as Zorro. Lacking access to his costume, he improvises by "borrowing" Sergeant García's saber and cutting a mask from the blanket provided in his cell. Then he throws what's left of the blanket over his shoulders to stand in for a cloak. This is amusing by itself, but the kicker comes when one of the guards posted on the walls spots him and raises the alarm. To keep any of the soldiers from getting a good look at him, Diego resorts to hiding behind Sergeant García and dragging him around the cuartel like a human shield.
- In "Tornado is Missing" Diego does the usual sign language routine to tell Bernardo to wake up his uncle in front of his father. Both of them are amused, as by this point Alejandro has learned that Diego is Zorro and Bernardo can hear. They all have a good laugh when Diego remembers this.
