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The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship: A Toltec Wisdom Book Paperback – Big Book, March 30, 1999
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The Mastery of Love includes:
• Why "domestication" and the "image of perfection" lead to self-rejection
• The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships
• Why we hunt for love in others, and how to capture the love inside us
• How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others
"Happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love. When you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of your love, this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltec: the Mastery of Love." — don Miguel Ruiz
- Print length210 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherAmber-Allen Publishing
- Publication dateMarch 30, 1999
- Dimensions5.06 x 0.6 x 7.25 inches
- ISBN-101878424424
- ISBN-13978-1878424426
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- Happiness never comes from outside of us. He was happy because of the love coming out of him; she was happy because of the love coming out of her. But as soon as he made her responsible for his happiness, she broke the star because she could not be responsible for his happiness.Highlighted by 8,756 Kindle readers
- Finally, if you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of love coming out of you, this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltecs, the Mastery of Love.Highlighted by 7,994 Kindle readers
- The real mission you have in life is to make yourself happy, and in order to be happy, you have to look at what you believe, the way you judge yourself, the way you victimize yourself.Highlighted by 7,383 Kindle readers
- It doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you are never going to be what that person wants you to be.Highlighted by 7,188 Kindle readers
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About the Author
Janet Mills is the founder and president of Amber-Allen Publishing and co-author, with don Miguel Ruiz, of six books in The Toltec Wisdom Series. Mills is also the creator of “The Four Agreements for a Better Life” online course, editor of Deepak Chopra’s bestselling title, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, and publisher of the world-renowned “Seth Books” by Jane Roberts.
Product details
- Publisher : Amber-Allen Publishing (March 30, 1999)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 210 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1878424424
- ISBN-13 : 978-1878424426
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.06 x 0.6 x 7.25 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,495 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #21 in Love & Romance (Books)
- #41 in Happiness Self-Help
- #71 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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One of the greatest books of all time. Eye opening book
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About the authors
Janet Mills is the founder of Amber-Allen Publishing and co-author (with don Miguel Ruiz) of the international bestselling “Toltec Wisdom Series” including “The Four Agreements,” “The Mastery of Love,” “The Voice of Knowledge,” “The Four Agreements Companion Book,” “The Circle of Fire,” and “The Fifth Agreement.” The Toltec Wisdom books have sold over 15 million copies in the United States, and have been published in 52 languages worldwide.
Mills has published an online course, "The Four Agreements for a Better Life," for people who want to deepen their understanding and practice of these deceptively simple agreements. Information about the course is available at TheFourAgreements.com.
Mills is also the editor of and publisher of Deepak Chopra's international bestselling title “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” (over 2.5 million copies sold), and the publisher of 11 world-renowned “Seth” books by Jane Roberts, which have been credited with launching the New Age movement.
Mills credits the books she publishes for inspiring her belief system and transforming her life. Her personal mission is to share universal wisdom in the language of our times and to help inspire others to live the life of their dreams. She lives in San Rafael, California.
www.miguelruiz.com
Don Miguel Ruiz is a renowned spiritual teacher and internationally bestselling author of the “Toltec Wisdom Series,” including “The Four Agreements,” “The Mastery of Love,” “The Voice of Knowledge,” “The Four Agreements Companion Book,” “The Circle of Fire,” and “The Fifth Agreement.” The Toltec Wisdom books have sold over 12 million copies in the United States, and have been published in 46 languages worldwide.
don Miguel has spent the past three decades guiding students to personal freedom through his profound insights regarding the nature of human reality. His newest book, THE ACTOR (Ediciones Urano) written with Barbara Emrys was published November 3rd, 2020.
The youngest of thirteen children, don Miguel Ruiz was born in rural Mexico to parents who were healers and practitioners of ancient Toltec traditions. As a young adult, he graduated from medical school in Mexico City and practiced neurosurgery with his older brother in Tijuana. A near-fatal car crash forever changed the direction of his life, however, causing him to leave medicine and to examine the essential truth about life and humanity. With his mother’s help, and through her ancestral teachings, he discovered his own path to awareness, which evolved into a deep understanding of the physical universe and the virtual world of the mind.
Combining Toltec mythology and scientific perspectives, don Miguel has been able to merge ancient wisdom with modern physics and practical common-sense, forging a new philosophy for seekers of truth and personal authenticity. His landmark bestselling book, The Four Agreements, contains practical steps for long-term, personal transformation and has been read by millions around the world.
First published in 1997, The Four Agreements has since sold over nine million copies in the United States and seven million worldwide. It has been translated into 46 languages, appeared on the New York Times bestseller for nearly ten years, and was the 36th bestselling book of the decade. Don Miguel is also the author of The Mastery of Love, The Voice of Knowledge, Prayers, and the New York Times bestseller, The Fifth Agreement, a collaboration with his son, don José Ruiz. Each of his books are international bestsellers.
The wisdom don Miguel has brought to the world has earned him respect around the globe. He has dedicated his life to sharing his message through practical concepts in order to promote transformation and ultimately change lives for the better. Don Miguel is the recipient of numerous recognitions, including a U.S. Air Force ‘challenge coin’ engraved with “The Four Agreements.” He is the recipient of an Honorary Degree in Cultural and Social Education from the American Cultural Institute of Mexico, and referenced as a “national treasure” in his native country.
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When I read it the first time I remember loving it, it was brilliant and while I didn't feel like I agreed with everything in it, a lot of what was taught in it shaped some of my views on love. At the time, I hadn't had much experience in relationships, in fact I think it was pretty recent after the end of my very first relationship. However, a lot of what was in this book really stuck with me, so just before Yule this year I took the time to run to the store and pick up two copies of it. One for my boyfriend (as a gift) and one for myself to read again. Really, I'm glad that I did.
Reading it this time, I feel like I agreed with a lot more of what he said, and that I soaked more of it in. It didn't do much to change how I feel about relationships or love, because they were pretty similar to begin with. It did reaffirm them for me though, and put into words a lot of how I felt. Enough that when I finished reading it I had the urge to pass it along, so that a certain friend of mine could take the time and read it, in hopes that it would reaffirm things for him. Especially the most important things that deal with self love, self destruction, the "Parasite" inside of us all, and how the way others act should not affect us and vice versa. It really opened my eyes, and I feel like sharing the knowledge I feel I've gained from it. I'll probably buy it again in a few months.
This book really speaks towards the way society can implant negative thoughts on us, and how we can be raised to believe them. We are all born innocent and full of love, and somewhere along the way we learn how to be distrustful, and how to be hurt, and to be hurtful in return. Our parents learned this while they grew, and they (along with the rest of society) then teach it to us as we grow up, and the cycle continues ever onward. Personally, I would hope that I have the strength to stop that cycle, and leave my children full of love and respect.
Another thing it tells us, is the story of "The Man Who Didn't Believe in Love", which is now one of my favorite legends. It tells of a man who went around giving lectures on the non-existence of love, because so many people use it to manipulate each other. He says "love is like a drug" because in each relationship you have the "dealer" of the "drug" and the person who is addicted and keeps coming back for more. The stronger partner deals out the love, and the weaker tries to soak up as much of it as they can, and they take any abuse the dealer gives out too, because they think they need it so badly and that they can't get it anywhere else. He vows that he does not believe in love, because he has had many such experiences and refuses to let anyone manipulate him with this false emotion.
So this man is walking through the park one day and he comes across a woman who is sitting in the grass crying. He stops to console her, and asks her why she is crying, and she replies "I am crying because love does not exist." The man is astounded, because he has finally found a woman who feels the same way he does. He talks to her, they develop a friendship, and soon they are spending all their time together. They never fight, and they never expect anything from each other, they have the perfect bond. One day when the man is away, he is contemplating his relationship with the woman. He realizes that what he feels for her must actually be love, and that he had been wrong all along. Love does exist, and it is much more pure and beautiful than anything he'd ever experienced. The man is so excited that he rushes home immediately to tell her how he feels about her. She, in turn, replies that she has felt this way for quite some time and has been afraid to tell him because of his disbelief in the emotion.
The legend then tells that the man is so happy, that he goes outside and sends his happiness into the universe. His happiness is so large that it pulls a star down into his hands and he hurries to give it to the woman. The happiness is so overwhelming, that for a moment the woman hesitates, and in that moment of doubt she drops it and it shatters. Now there is a man who is wandering the Universe, broken and lonely because he once again believes that love does not exist. There is also a woman who sits at home waiting for the man who once loved her, feeling remorse for that one moment of doubt that ruined their relationship.
So in asking yourself who was in the wrong, was it the woman who doubted for a moment? No, it was the man who decided to place his entire happiness in someones hands. If we place all of our happiness in the control of others, how can we ever expect to be happy? It is entirely up to us to be happy, and if we choose to be happy with someone else, we're all the better. We cannot rely on them to make us happy.
The book delves into quite a bit more information regarding loving yourself and being a whole person. It also emphasizes my previous belief that you have to be happy on your own, if you can ever be happy with anyone else. You have to love yourself to fully love another, and you have to be an equal part to a relationship, and not rely on them. It is the same with friends, family, and anyone you encounter.
In any case, I highly recommend this book to anyone, even if you read it simply to remind yourself of what you knew before. He has at least 3 other books that go along with it, and I plan on reading them as well.
Remember, God = Love and God is inside of you.
So YOU = LOVE.
There is some very good, very useful, very important information in this book about what is love and how it works. But I think it would have been better if Chapter 10 and everything thereafter hadn't been included -- these sections are just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo healing and forgiveness lectures that I certainly didn't need and I can imagine many other readers wouldn't either. It gave the otherwise very insightful book a kind of old-traumatized-ex-hippie feel that I think detracted from it as a whole. Plus I found that it was making me feel guilty for already feeling good about myself! (For example there's a big section where the author assumes that you think you're ugly and so tries to convince you that you don't need to be beautiful -- but if you didn't have any self esteem issues in that area when you go into it, it just kind of makes you feel rotten and vain to read what he says.)
So, overall I do recommend the book for its valuable ideas and observations about love, but I would say skip the last few chapters. I recommend this book often because it really does have very valuable insights about love and how people perceive it.
Top reviews from other countries
This book was INCREDIBLE! I just got out of a relationship and was feeling rather lost and this book is like your wise father giving you life advice, it was so insightful and positive. The author really highlights such simple yet important things that I think a lot of us miss when we are looking for love.
Absolutely 10/10 book I highly recommend it ESPECIALLY to very spiritual and/or religious people as this book does have a rather spiritual type of feel to it because the author mentions god and spirits and such.
Reviewed in Canada on November 17, 2023
This book was INCREDIBLE! I just got out of a relationship and was feeling rather lost and this book is like your wise father giving you life advice, it was so insightful and positive. The author really highlights such simple yet important things that I think a lot of us miss when we are looking for love.
Absolutely 10/10 book I highly recommend it ESPECIALLY to very spiritual and/or religious people as this book does have a rather spiritual type of feel to it because the author mentions god and spirits and such.