Tegan and Sara's memoir 'High School' reveals they never came out to each other

Identical twins sisters Tegan and Sara Quinn are, undoubtedly, musical legends. The Grammy-nominated duo from Canada are known for songs ‘Walking With a Ghost’, and ‘Closer’, while anyone who loved The LEGO Movie (how could you not?!) will know the earworm ‘Everything Is Awesome’ that they wrote for the film. Both identify as lesbians, and are legit icons within LGBTQ+ circles for their open and honest discussions about their sexuality in their music.

After the sisters graduated high school, they decided to pursue a career in music rather than going to uni. 20 years later, here they are. And, with their new revealing memoir 'High School' (which coincides with the release of their ninth studio album 'Hey, I'm Just Like You' - all re-recordings of demos from their high school days), they are returning back to those early days.

“Our start was kind of tough and figuring out who we were was hard,” Tegan tells Cosmopolitan UK. The memoir takes us through their younger years, their struggles with acceptance and their queer identities, drugs and alcohol, fear and love and, ultimately, what happens when you become an adult.

Tegan and Sara’s new memoir ’High School’ deals with coming to terms with their sexuality and identities

Surprisingly, Tegan says her and Sara didn't look to each other for support during their adolescent years, at a time when they were both starting to realise they were queer. “There’s always misconceptions about us being twins so we must be best friends, we must have told each other we were gay, we must have comforted each other and confided in one another but, actually, we didn’t do any of that,” she says.

“We always joke that neither of us came out to each other – it just never happened. I think that the intimacy of being identical twin sisters who are in a band together and have so much in common, it almost forced us into not talking about certain things."

Sara was outed while she was at high school by their mother, who had she found out Sara was in a relationship. Tegan was still unsure of her sexuality at this time, but she remembers how tough the experience was. “Sara’s coming out was hard. My mum reacted in a way I think a lot of parents do where she was worried and scared," she says.

“Her reaction was kind of harsh. She was initially rather hurt that Sara hadn’t confided in her, as she had approached Sara over the years to ask if there was something going on with these girlfriends. [Sara] had said no. But she came around pretty quickly and, for me, there was no issue."

Tegan (right) and Sara in the semi-final of Garage Warz in 1998

It was after high school that Tegan realised she wasn't straight. "I just brought this woman home and everyone was like, ‘so, you’re gay’ and I was like ‘yeah’. That was my coming out.”

Tegan says the process of delving into their early years for both the memoir and album was an incredibly “cathartic” experience for them both. Particularly as it gave her an insight into some of the earlier issues she faced with her sister.

“It was eye-opening to discover how hard coming out had been for Sara and how hard her first relationships were,” Tegan says. “I don’t think I saw that, I think she hid it pretty well. I think, for me, Sara had been a bit of a thorn in my side for the first part of our career. She was very sensitive to press and she often expressed a desire not to be doing what we were doing.

“I really didn’t understand why she struggled a lot, but reading her part of the book I realised so much of that stemmed from her fear around homophobia, and her desire to be her own person.”

Tegan says in writing the book, it was also healing for Sara to see she wasn’t ashamed of her when she was outed. "I think she sort of misread my frustration with her in high school as being sensitive to her being gay, and realising that I just didn’t even know I was gay.”

She hopes 'High School' will be valuable as an insight into the queer experience. “There are just so few books written by women in the music industry, and there’s very few written by queer women. It just felt very important to us to tell our story and create a space for people like us,” she says.

The pair hope the book, which is told by each of them in alternating chapters, will bring comfort to “anyone who has been an adolescent and struggled”.

“There certainly feels like there has never been a better time to identify as LGBTQ+,” Tegan says of the bittersweet position the queer community is in right now. “There’s so much great representation and there’s a community online, but there’s still a ton of negativity in the press. There’s still people who don’t get it and we have to find each other, support one another, and encourage our allies to continue to speak out.”

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For any young queer fans yet to tell their parents about their identity, Tegan says, “I always tell young people that your parents don’t have their whole lives to prepare for that coming out moment whereas you do. I try to push for patience and understanding, try to have empathy for your parents. A lot of their reactions are fear-based and, even in 2019, rightfully so. There’s still terrible things that happen and systemic barriers for LGBTQ+ people."

Above everything, Tegan wants their fans to know her and Sara didn't just become overnight celebrities. “I think back to our youth and about how it took a long time to get to be the people we are today, to feel confident and to be successful.

“I just really hope this book and the new record will show everybody that we are just like them .”

‘High School’ by Tegan and Sara is published by Virago on September 24 in hardback. Their accompanying album ‘Hey, I’m Just Like You’ is released on the September 26.