While I was working in an adult shop in 2019, I read an article about a woman who was fighting the NDIS about using her funding to access sexual services.
I started to think about how inaccessible adult shops are as they are typically upstairs, but also how society in general looks at people with disability. Especially when it comes to expressing their sexual desires and sexuality.
As someone who had a major motorcycle accident where I nearly lost my leg and my life, I started wondering if there was something I could do to help provide sexual services to women with disability.
When I first thought about becoming an escort, my self-esteem was low. Although I had decided I could go into the line of work, I didn't think anyone would be interested in hiring a guy in his 40s with a dad bod. Especially after looking at some of the advertising sites. All the other male escorts were 10 years younger and had eight packs!
Sam was concerned nobody would want to hire him because he didn't look like a 'typical' escort. Credit: Samantha Heather Photography
I pulled funds out of my super, left my retail job and trained to be a disability support worker. I also put together a website to kickstart my career as a straight male escort.
Starting out was an incredibly isolating experience. Most escorts work alone, because we are busy promoting our business and managing all the admin associated with being self-employed.
I’ve found my job to be satisfying on so many levels.Samuel Hunter
My first client was a last-minute, three-hour booking that was extended to an overnight. That following afternoon I met with a woman who had booked me a few days before, and took on another late-night booking. When I got home in the wee hours of the morning, I finally had a chance to reflect on the previous 24 hours.
My first jobs were nothing like I had expected. It was a wild time with a lot more reciprocation that I could have imagined. The money in my hand was more than I would have made in a month at the adult shop, even with commission bonuses.
But it wasn't a totally seamless process. I had to 'fire' my first client after she became obsessive, calling me repeatedly to the point where I threatened to report her to the police for stalking.
Sam says being an escort is a lonely career path. Credit: Samantha Heather Photography
While I started in this work to provide a service to women with disability, these clients probably make up only 10 per cent of my work, and this has consistently been the case over three years.
Although it's near impossible to categorise my clients into any sort of box, they are mainly women aged 35 to 55. My clients find me for a range of reasons, from being in a sexless marriage to needing a safe space to explore after experiencing sexual trauma.
While my friends and family all know what I do for work, and are supportive of it, it’s something I often find hard to discuss.Samuel Hunter
These women don't need to pay for sex. They choose to. They want to know that they will be in a safe place to explore, and know that their lovely date night will actually end in a sexually satisfying way.
And on top of that, as much as they pay me to turn up, they are also paying me to leave, so there are no interruptions to their already-hectic lives.
I'm not sure if it's my 'dad bod', but I do find that if I were out with most of my clients, no onlooker would think, "Something doesn't seem right with those two".
For personal reasons, I'm not interested in having a relationship. Beyond that, there is a resemblance of a relationship with my clients.
Sam says he sees a therapist to ensure he maintains healthy boundaries with his clients. Credit: Samantha Heather Photography
Some clients can be really emotionally draining on me, as I'm overly sensitive. But these are the most rewarding experiences I can provide.
Post-meeting emails, sharing how our time together has affected them on some occasions, has brought me to tears.
This is also why I love seeing my therapist, who happens to be a sex therapist. For me, it means I can share what I need without stigma or judgement. She has really helped me to establish and maintain boundaries, in my work and in my personal life.
While my friends and family all know what I do for work, and are supportive of it, it's something I often find hard to discuss. I avoid telling men what I do, as I'm usually greeted with high-fives — from the same men who would shame a female sex worker.
This kind of toxic male attitude, along with all the stories of men from my friends and clients, has certainly turned me towards misandry.
For over a year, this has been my sole income, and I feel blessed to have the life I currently live. It's a huge change to the broken and broke man in 2019, who would live off two-minute noodles if he were to somehow take a woman out on a date.
*not his real name.
