I Used to Hide My Scars With Clothing and It Changed the Way I See Fashion
I have had burn scars that covered about 20% of my body since I was 9-years-old. At this point, the red, bumpy disfigurements that cover the entirety of my right arm, as well as the side of my stomach, are something I barely even notice. In fact, I often forget that they are there and merely think of them as a part of my body that I was born with.
When I was in middle school, though, I thought about them constantly. I would cover my arms with long sleeve shirts under tank tops, sweaters, cut off sleeves, and one-piece bathing suits. That's not even touching on the years of eating disorders and body image problems that came along with feeling like a part of your body didn't belong to you. Having scars people stared at and asked questions about constantly made the already exhausting act of getting dressed as a teenager that much more dreadful.
But I always loved fashion. It was a way for me to explore, fantasize, and quite frankly, escape. Trying to cleverly hide, and then eventually flaunt my scars helped me develop a sense of confidence in what I wore. People were staring regardless so why not give them something to look at? I had a phase where all I wore was oversized t-shirts (and no pants) that I bought at a discount rate from my job as the "men's floor associate" at Urban Outfitters. Then there was my vintage leopard print everything moment that eventually turned into wear whatever I want, whenever I want. It took a while to develop but I attribute this attitude and my sense of style to my scars. Today when I see a photo of myself wearing a tank top, only to notice the red blotches on my arm I try to remember that they are what make my outfit unique and give it character. I get to wear my own special sleeve every day and that is really badass.
My experience with scarring had me thinking: there are millions of people that live with scars and disfigurements every day and I would have to imagine that their style and stories of coming into their own have been influenced in a similar way. So I talked to other people who have all different types of scars to tell me their style stories.
Photo by Savanna Ruedy1/5Alyssa Hardy (Me!) - Fashion Editor
About her scars:
I burned my body when I was 9-years-old. I picked up a pot of way too heavy boiling water off the stove and spilled it down the front of me. After months in the hospital and one major surgery, I was left with an arm scar, stomach scar and one on my left thigh from a skin graft.
On how they shaped her style:
At one point, I wouldn't allow anyone to take pictures of me where my arms or stomach were visible because it was too hard to look at. So whenever it was hot and I was forced to wear a tank top, I used to cut off a knee sock and wear it as a sleeve over my right arm. It eventually became my signature look, and led to a sort of confidence in a style that I wouldn't have without it.
Courtesy of La’Shaunae Steward2/5La’Shaunae Steward - Model
About her scars:
"My forehead scar happened when I was sixteen. I was in a car accident where I could have bled to death and it caused me to get stitches on my forehead. I was picked on in high school because of this scar so I always covered it with makeup I also have a leg scar from when I was around three or four years old. But one of my most recent scars is on my stomach from a surgery I had a few years ago that resulted in me trying to hide them using a huge tummy tattoo. And then there are the acne scars and the scars on my legs and feet from bug bites from living in the annoying area of South Carolina that I live in that I’ve been extremely insecure about lately because on Instagram it’s a common thing for people to point out and say 'what's on your legs.'"
On how they shaped her style:
"I often tried to hide my forehead scar with layers and layers and layers of makeup and as I realized it just made me look cakey, I now wear makeup maybe once a month. My leg scar from stitches used to bother me a lot and I'd turn to only wearing leggings, but now it doesn't bother me and I’ll wear short things. Some of my stomach scars are still visible and I'm completely okay with it. I think my tattoo helped me love them more. As for my scarring from bites, it's probably something I'm still trying hard to accept especially as a model. I feel like its easy for people to judge models if our skin isn't perfect and I work harder and harder every day to accept this part of my scarring because it doesn't make me any less different."
Courtesy of Isabella Fernandes3/5Isabella Fernandes - Model
About her scars:
"My scars are a result of a fire and the surgeries that followed. My scars cover the right-hand side of my torso from shoulder to midway down my thigh. I have been left with a unique pattern that both the flames and my surgeons have created over the right-hand side of my body. Though my skin is damaged I sort of quite like to think that my doctors have sewn and stapled me back together. I almost feel like a jigsaw piece. My body looks different, from before the fire, but I think that is neither a good or bad thing. My skin and my outer shell is simply changed and healed."
On how they shaped her style:
"Initially, there were no mirrors on the hospital ward and perhaps it was not something I ever thought to concern me. It was so important to have that separation between physical healing and the way I looked. Dealing with the consequences of the fire upon the look and feel of my skin was initially far less important than the hurdles of healing and learning how to move again. My style was constructed by the rather 'fetching hospital robes.' I wore the exact same pattern of a white hospital gown throughout my stay except for one day which I now have an incredibly fond memory of. A nurse on shift smuggled me a bright pink hospital gown that I wore just for that one day. It was oddly one of the sweetest memories I have of my stay. I felt pretty and I was allowed just for that day to feel a little young again. I was a 17 year old on an adult hospital ward dealing with an adult situation. That situation was so overwhelming and somehow that pink hospital gown made me feel a little less lost. My style then became baggy shirts and trousers that were the only things that fitted over my bandages. My mother bought me a baggy pink dress and took me on a day out to the theater during my recovery. So I think pink has somehow been a recurring theme.
Now I think my style is comprised of a mix of statement pieces and color. Perhaps I have kept some fondness for pink. I have also kept some fondness for baggy trousers as my skinny jeans have slowly made their way out my wardrobe. Sometimes I feel as if when I get dressed I almost have to wear a top that shows my scarred skin. Sometimes I put pressure on myself to prove to the world that I am okay with my body. I feel as if I have to prove that I am not hiding, but whether I wear a long sleeve top or not that is my choice. Sleeve lengths do not indicate my confidence or happiness within my own body. I think I am reaching a place where I feel comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes I almost forget the scars are there, but sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and stare just taking in my new body."
Courtesy of Lia Schryver4/5Lia Schryver - Production Manager
About her scars:
"I have several small scars up and down my legs - some look like pockmarks and others look more intense, like cigarette burns. The worst of them are dark in color and deeply indent into my skin. They are the result of a chronic skin infection that my doctors have never been able to figure out. As small as they are, I've still experienced people staring, commenting and questioning which has been frustrating. I'm using that frustration to be more considerate and gentle towards others' feelings who may be in a similar place."
On how they shaped her style:
"I've never liked the way my legs look when wearing clothes that expose them, and with my scars, I hated it even more. The seemingly recent acceptance of the differences among women's bodies has helped me to care less about what other people think of my scars. I used to shy away from shorts and skirts and preferred to hide my legs, but these days I don't let that hold me back."
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