OPINION:
A version of this story appeared in the On Background newsletter from The Washington Times. Click here to receive On Background delivered directly to your inbox each Friday.
Dark Brandon is real.
At least, so says President Biden.
No, literally. That’s what he said.
“Dark Brandon is real,” Mr. Biden said at a mega-fundraiser at Radio City Music Hall in New York last month as he slipped on a pair of dark aviator sunglasses, concealing the dishonesty of his eyes.
Going along with the gag, former Presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama also slid dark glasses on their faces for the fake moment — also concealing their eyes.
Former comedian Stephen Colbert was on stage with the threesome, conducting a fake interview of the trio about the horrors of the resurrection of Donald Trump’s political career. The crotch-nuzzling Mr. Colbert could not contain his own crush on Mr. Biden — aka “Dark Brandon” — so he donned his own pair of dark aviator glasses for the fake moment.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the presidents of the United States,” he enthused as all four of them rose from their seats on stage and stood around dorkily with their stupid glasses, trying to act cool like a bunch of dads at a Taylor Swift concert.
The Biden White House has embraced the fictional character of “Dark Brandon” because — well, because there is no such thing as bad publicity in politics these days. And when your political brand is so toxic, stale and uninspiring that you will grasp at absolutely anything to appear hip. Or relevant. Or remotely liked.
Thus, Joe Biden became Dark Brandon.
As with everything Biden, Dark Brandon is rooted in a lie. Dark Brandon is not a cool superhero with laser eyes in stupid glasses.
Dark Brandon arose from the sewer of Mr. Biden’s intense unpopularity — despite the media’s orgiastic efforts to prop him up and make him appear popular, or even slightly normal.
Back in 2021, after Mr. Biden’s catastrophic surrender and withdrawal of U.S. troops from Afghanistan, a crowd of NASCAR fans spontaneously broke out in a chant during a live interview of winning race-car driver Brandon Brown.
“F—- Joe Biden! F—- Joe Biden!” the crowd roared.
NBC reporter Kelli Stavast, who is as accurate as Stephen Colbert is funny, desperately tried to salvage the situation for Mr. Biden.
“As you can hear the chants from the crowd, ‘Let’s go, Brandon!’”
Well, it was the same number of syllables.
For months after that, even good Christian schoolchildren who don’t drop F-bombs could get their Biden rage on by screaming, “Let’s go, Brandon!” at all manner of sporting events.
The chants became so ubiquitous and humiliating that the only thing the Biden White House could do is try hijacking the truly grassroots movement, twist it around and lie about it. The funny thing about Dark Brandon is that nobody actually says this or talks about it — except the Biden White House and its stupid, uninspiring, car-honking campaign. And the crotch-nuzzling media.
One of the more surprising things about Radio City Music Hall interview was that Bill Clinton — a talented politician if there ever was one — went along with the whole stupid gag. He was the only smart person on that stage and the only genuinely gifted politician, and yet there he was donning the dark glasses and going along with the whole scam of trying to prop up the lifetime failure that is Joe Biden.
It had to be the biggest political humiliation for Bill Clinton since his wife’s last failed political campaign.
Mr. Clinton was most surely aware of the terrible political malpractice going on as the Biden campaign raised a then-record $25 million in New York City hobnobbing with celebrities like Stephen Colbert and covering their eyes with dark glasses while former President Donald Trump attended the wake for fallen NYPD Officer Jonathan Diller just a few miles away.
Officer Diller was killed by the very policies put in place and celebrated by President Biden and the new Democratic Party. Mr. Clinton could only sit back and watch as Mr. Trump “felt the pain” of the Diller family.
But that’s the price you pay for raising a record $25 million for one political campaign fundraising event.
Dark Brandon’s record campaign haul lasted less than two weeks. On Saturday night, Mr. Trump held a fundraiser in Florida, raising $50 million.
Dark Brandon, indeed.
• Charles Hurt is the opinion editor at The Washington Times.
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