“I’m so tempted to touch your hair right now” these are words I get most of the time from a lot of people. Little do they know the story behind that short, curly blonde hair.
I’m Mitchel Tanyaradzwa, a 24 year old Zimbabwean young woman based in Milan. Founder of the hashtag #zimqueensnotsorry and the Facebook page Zimqueensnotsorry (Royal Challengerz), I'm now also on Instagram as @Zimqueensnotsorry.
Speaking of my life, I grew up in Zimbabwe. I had no self-esteem because I was being defined by other people and suffered from being bullied. I was raised by a single mother and my grandma. When I was 20 I moved in Italy, I started suffering from depression and had low self-esteem.
When it comes to my life story, l will never leave a mid-70s man called Francesco Ferraris Di Celle. If you still wondering why I cut off my hair, it was because I was fighting to admit that him, my mentor, had died. He used to say “Sei una ragazza molto in gamba”, meaning you are a girl with so much potential but I would ignore him saying “Whatever” because I didn’t know my worth. He didn’t stop saying it, until I said to myself "This man must be right". I started looking at myself through his perspective.The way he continuously said to me that I had so much potential though I didn’t see that in me at all it was like a wakeup call. Just watching him and his life was a great lesson. I started analysing myself, trying to understand why I had decided not to care about myself. This made me open up to him, come out and say everything. Since I decided to shift my mind into being positive and just being myself, a big dead weight has been taken off my shoulders. I now surround myself with positive people because I care so much about my mental health after suffering with depression. I have turned into a self-love advocate and someone who defines herself. Women empowerment is my new vibe and I’m staying in this tribe. Before I used to dress to impress other people but now I dress for myself and it's such a good feeling because it helps also my self-confidence. The way I react to circumstances that life throws at me has now changed: I used to give up easily but now I believe in myself and I can stand up for myself. The TV series "Orange Is The New Black" played a role in my self-love journey. The way Piper Chapman was pushed out of her comfort zone when she got in prison only trying to adjust to the new life and how she has used her voice to speak her mind has made me brave. In 2017 l worked bloody hard to love myself by realizing that I needed to be myself and stop trying to copy someone else. I started reading stories by powerful women such as Princess Diana, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Mother Teresa. Listening to their inspiring words helped me understand life, especially given that those words were coming from women. Now I know my worth and won’t seek validation from other people.
I thought, "How many young women in Zimbabwe are also going through this?". That's why I decided to start the Zimqueensnotsorry (Royal Challengerz) page on Facebook, to uplift young women in Zimbabwe who also suffer from a low self-esteem, and to start a self-love journey with them. I’m happy I started this since it was a conversation that our society hardly touches upon but it had a huge impact. The page has become a safe place where young women are beginning to express themselves without fear of being judged; where they learn to love themselves by first realizing that they are not alone as we all have struggles. The way they get support from other young women is a step forward and towards the same goal of building each other’s confidence. It’s like a great place of sisterhood and love. Some of them are beginning to open up about their insecurities and seeking help.
Fundamentally, on my Facebook Page, I post issues that help to break those boundaries that our society has created for us, young women. Young women are still being judged and being labelled so easily simply because of the way they dress or where they stay. The way young single mothers are seen, the fact that being by yourself can cause you to be perceived as a person with loose morals; the pressure from societal constructs and expectations particularly towards marriage, the fact that when you reach a certain age, in your 20s, you are already expected to be married with kids. I also speak out about depression, since it’s always being brushed off with people saying that “you are a woman and have to be strong” without any further discussions about seeking help. Yes, there is gender equality, but patriarchy is still alive. Then there is the virginity issue: how some men expect to marry a virgin but when in a relationship they ask for sex. Other topics are body shaming and having darker skin: society puts you in a box and that’s why now some young women have resorted to bleaching their skin so they can feel pretty. Stigma around HIV is another issue I post about. My posts are about self-love, mental health, celebrating being a woman and ending girl hate. This is coupled with the labelling of young women with tattoos, with piercings, women who drink alcohol or go to nightclubs as people with loose morals. A young woman cannot walk through the city centre wearing a mini skirt or shorts without being ganged up on or called disgusting names. Catcalling is still an issue that I would love to address in the future because I feel that sometimes men don’t understand how disrespectful and ignorant that is. All this contributes to young women suppressing their self-esteem and these are the same people that are going to becomes mothers. I can’t imagine a mother without self-love - that will be heart-breaking.
Having said that, in 2019 I’m planning to start events that focus more on self-love, depression, heartbreaks and ending girls hate to bring young Zimbabwean women together, especially in schools and in different parts of the country. I’m also working on doing "Donate a Pad" in tandem with the "End Girl Hate Campaign" in order to create connections between young women. I want to do the "Donate a Pad" campaign because in rural areas girls miss school when they are in their period as they can’t afford sanitary pads. Imagine not being able to attend school for at least 4 days every month, imagine how behind you can get with your studies. Some use old cloths, leaves and paper, all of which is not healthy. Sanitary wear is a real challenge in rural areas. The campaign of collecting clothes for the less privileged will always be running because poverty still need to be dealt with in Zimbabwe. I collect clothes from people here in Italy then send them home and also to Zimbabwe. In April 2018 and in January 2019, I managed to donate clothes to the less privileged: the way people show appreciation still makes me cry. The aim of this movement is to build a generation of confident young women who know their worth and won’t let anyone define them. I envision this being the results of having more female leaders, thereby building a society with empowered women. I also wish to create a community that doesn’t raise boundaries for women. We won’t stop educating our society about the fact that the way it labels/defines young women contributes to their self-esteem. I would love our society not to marginalize young women.
This project is going great as I have the opportunity to work with different young women. Every day I get messages from young women struggling with self-confidence, depression and heartbreaks. Just having them trusting that I can help them walk through this journey means a lot to me. Honestly, it’s a huge responsibility but I’m passionate about it and won’t give up. My 2019 wish is to take this self-love message to the rural areas through the book that I’m writing, since girls and young women there have no access to social media. The fascinating part about this is that I’ve always hidden my identity on this FB Page and no one knows me. I’m going to come out now on this article: for those curious to see more of me, my Instagram is Mitchumtanya.
Nevertheless, I’m working on myself to become a great fashion stylist, start my own fashion brand in Zimbabwe and write a book about self-love. Fashion in Milan has helped me develop a personal style as it made me a diversified person and it inspires me to be who I am since self-love is like a journey that never ends. Milan also taught me not to be scared of rejection and that women are more powerful when working as a team. In the meantime, I’m in love with this city, it’s full of surprises; I enjoy exploring it and it’s my new home.
Lastly, I just want to say thank you to my mom for all the support and to my grandma who raised me, showing me that a woman can do anything in this world. But above all I wish to thank God.
Mitchel Tanyaradzwa
Team Credits
Photographer: @lucasadrianophotos
Make-up Artist: @itsmaibell
Stylist: @mitchumtanya
